The Debt of Fatherhood

“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”

Sigmund Freud

What a blessing a present and watchful father is! Fathers provide the strength, perspective, and love that enables their children to thrive physically and psychologically. When a father is absent, the consequences are steep- his departure is felt by culture at-large. Fathers, unlike mothers, are not physically compelled to stay with their children. They must be compelled morally. We must make clear to our sons that leaving a child is an immoral choice. Men that desert their obligations will have to stand accountable before God, their own children, and the society they leave in ruins behind them.

However, men that stay and love and encourage their children deserve our respect and admiration. Those that minimize the importance of fatherhood are simply ignorant to the foundation that has been laid by every unassuming and unheralded father. This week, let’s acknowledge the hero that every Dad is. Imperfect as he may be, he is fulfilling his moral obligation, which lesser men have fled. His children and society should thank him.

A quote from The Brothers Karamazov demonstrates the torment fatherless children are left with. Surely the command to “Honor they Father” does not apply to men that abandon their children.

“The sight of an unworthy father involuntarily suggests tormenting questions to a young creature, especially when he compares him with the excellent fathers of his companions. The conventional answer to this question is: ‘He begot you, and you are his flesh and blood, and therefore you are bound to love him.’ The youth involuntarily reflects: ‘But did he love me when he begot me?’ he asks, wondering more and more. ‘Was it for my sake he begot me? He did not know me, not even my sex, at that moment, at the moment of passion, perhaps, inflamed by wine, and he has only transmitted to me a propensity to drunkenness- that’s all he’s done for me…. Why am I bound to love him simply for begetting me when he has cared nothing for me all my life after? Oh, perhaps those questions strike you as coarse and cruel, but do not expect an impossible restraint from a young mind. ‘Drive nature out of the door and it will fly in at the window’.”

The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Without the encouragement of your father the world is a dismal place. It is difficult to be a courageous person unless you have your father behind you in body and spirit. It is very demoralizing. … If your father rejects you, or doesn’t form a relationship with you, it’s as if the spirit of civilization has left you outside the walls as of little worth. It is very difficult for people to recover from that.

Jordan Peterson

Thank you to all the courageous men that live lives of quiet power, as fathers.

– Ally

*Unfortunately it is also the case that many fathers would like to have more contact with their children but due to divorce laws or a vindictive spouse are kept form those relationships.